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Showing posts from July, 2012

To Love Her!

To love and belong to her. I’d give my life completely. To give my time to her. I would do that willingly. My once in a life time love. Chosen from heaven above. I only have thoughts of. For it is her that completes me. As the stars shine on us at night. I see their twinkle in her eyes. Her beauty reflected in their light. As if to say, she was right for me. Cho. Heaven is smiling down on me. For its angel honestly loves me. I can see it in everything, that it is her. Heaven’s Queen, who truly loved me.

More Promises!

Jerusalem, my love! Left alone in a city Filled with lights, but no love. Yet her personality shined. Giving warmth to the dreary skies. Oh Jerusalem, you were such a delight. I promise one day to embrace you. As all your children praise you, And love you until the end of time. Jerusalem, dry your tear stained eyes. Lie peacefully but do not cry. I will eventually stand by your side. Jerusalem, my beloved Child. Once the greatest love of mine. Even as confusion plagued my mind I longed and hoped that one day. You would earnestly stand by my side. That you would become my bride. My secret, I would not longer have to hide.

Listening to you!

I would have assisted you, been there. Had I known what you went through. That you faced some tough times. And no one was there to help you. But now, I am thinking about you. Even though, I am not intervening. But, neither have I forgotten. Just wanted to say, I loved you. Do not let this destroy you. Stand up, and show them the strong you. I love you and should have supported you. Just do not give up, you are a brave person. Although, I was not the right person to turn to. I hope that one day that will also change too. Wish I had been there instead of ignoring you. For even then, I wanted to be a friend to you.

Stick with it!

Unless you are going to benefit from it. Do not run away or hide. Stay and deal with it day by day. Besides who would not want The perfect easy, life situation. I would be amazed by that person. I know that life is never easy. That there is always a pull or desire. To be with a more compatible person. Doubts that there is a better one. And I do not want to disappoint you. Because at times there is and is not. It is a fact that for our children’s sake At times, we need to stick with our mate. Then at a future date, acquire a companion That would be ideal and without complication. As difficult as putting another person first maybe, That is the trait of a loving, caring, giving person.

Brother!

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My brother is gone. I think of him often. When we were young, He was more than a brother. He was my first friend. We used to play together. Introduced me to all his friends. In the early morning, hours He would awaken me to go running. Not that I wanted to go with him. Now, I would willingly do anything. Walk, run or simply stand beside him. Wish I could hear his laughter. See his smiling face again. Although, I know he is up in heaven I wish he could have stayed a bit longer. That life was like, when we were younger. So take this as one of life lessons. For as long as you have a friend, A sister or brother appreciates them. For there is no telling when heaven Would come and claim your friend. He walked me down the aisle as opposed to my father. Then just like the photo, got cut off a few years later. He did earlier on won many Cross Country competitions.

Intent vs Actions!

My goals were not to discourage But to encourage by enabling you. I did not mean to disappoint you. For you were who, we selected. I did not purposely turn away. I simply meant to return another day. That led to your desiring to leave. Preferring to end your relationship. Seeing a future that is without me. Where reconciliation is an impossibility. I also know that my intentions, Were not as pertinent to you as my actions.

No Seasons!

There were no seasons. Not a single reason. I could not provide for you. No tomorrow better than today. Or years to come that I can say. I could not help, walk along side. Direct and be right next to you. Caused all the stars so to shine. To show, you were all mine. The moon to do the same at night. And the sun to be a superb light. Because I saw that it was right. I carried you through your plight. So when the sun fails to shine. Moon does not appear at night. I failed to provide a key source. That was necessary to sustain life. I did that for all, not only, a few. To prove my love for all of you.

You Made it Snow!

Cho. You made it snow As if I did not know. As the moonlight Danced in the shadow Of a romantic night. My spirit was lifted. You mesmerized And transformed me. Right before my eyes. But I didn’t realize. They do not know. Who blessed me. And loved me so. But I do, thank you. I appreciate you? I kept thinking of you. I wanted to know. What became of you. I did not want you to go. Disappeared from my life.

In my Child's Eyes!

I can see the sadness in my child’s eyes. Behind close doors, he cries. Did not mean for our strife to do this to him. But when we are engrossed in our fighting. Not one of us stops to think how he is affected. I know, his heart is also breaking. And I shouldn't allow this to happen. I want release from this horribleness. To get away from all the mess. For there to be joy and happiness. Father, why did you not deliver us? What benefit was there from leaving us? Whatever that was, this is not a blessing. The only thing his presence now seems to bring. Is a lot of sorrowing, caused by all our fighting.  I cannot take this anymore. Father, I am sorry. I did not mean to ruin Your testimony, but if you had provided, I would not be in a house that is divided. What is it that you want the world to know? That it's him, you loved, and me, you let go of.

It's a Rap!

I am not a rocket scientist but. I figured out, he had been lying. I am over it, and he should quit. If not careful, then I would be fallen down drunk from his deceit. I did not put words in his mouth. I figured it out. He did not need to be a phony. But considering on the real story. I am not a mad woman  /span> I would not walk away from a good person.,br /> I give to charity, but I find them. Not the other way around. I was just trying to better my life. He interjected himself in my life. I cared at the time but not now. Because, he did not showed me any love. I was not avoiding anyone Simply had a lot going on. I need to be free of this, I need to have some peace! Leave and let me be, stop pretending you cared for me.

Questions for an Answer!

How could a smile, a gesture meant so much? But how could the spirit of an angel get crushed? Why is the most learned of men not aware of this? How could anyone know who a person is from appearance alone? Why would anyone give up his life and his home just to perish? Why do men not believe that the creator exists, or walk among us? How could the things men take pride in, then humiliate them? If you have all the answers, to any of this, then you are above all of us.

Tell Me!

Who is it that says? I will help you. It is written, that it is him. Yahweh that answers. That extends to Jerusalem, peace. How can one be called to both Sorrow and peace in the same life span? How can he be buried and resurrected With him, when he simply refuses? That is troubling to me. I do not understand that! Is the word inaccurate or is that correct? Was this all real or did I misinterpret it? Time is upon us, and in the right time, he will answer. Until then, I will do whatever I need to in order to survive.

Song for Missy!

Missy, Missy, Missy! I did not plan this. Did not even understand it. She was the one that got away. All I can say is I am sorry. Missy, my angel is here for me. Missy, missy I have to leave. Would you please forgive me? Initially, I did not want to go. But now, I have to take care of her. cho. Missy, missy, missy! She is not of this world. Yet, she is my kind of girl. Not that I can explain it. But missy, I like this girl! Missy, I wanted to tell you. Have I not always been honest And pretty good to you? You know, I would not hurt you. If it wasn't for this angelic girl.

Resulted from Experience!

I wanted to see. Know how I’d Make my way back. Know if you honestly loved Or simply wants to also use me. After what I have lost. At such, an extraordinarily high cost I would prefer to walk alone. I miss my home, do not appreciate doing without. But most of all I miss being appreciated. Long most of all to be cradled and loved. Believe that I can do without all I was promised. Based on the past, I am insecure. Even the past few months, has made me unsure. I have become so scared and apprehensive. Afraid that I have chosen another identical To all those I already had, I doubt your love for me. Can't help but wonder if you are also very selfish. If you cannot understand, then this is pointless.

What Love Is!

I would never walk in front. Or expect you to follow me. Or believe, that is how it should be I value you too much. To ever treat you like that. I know you; that you loved. And accepted me completely, But have your own identity. Thinks and do things differently. Not merely as an extension of me. Love is more than a smile or a maybe. It is being considerate and kind. Because you are an extra special lady. It is being there, showering you with care. Then choosing to do it again and again. Because that is what love means to you.

My Begining!

Thought I heard them say That it was you, that decided To select me, that you always Loved and came after me. Then she will sorrow and blame me. Questioned why you do not know about All that I wrote and published in the past. But currently, it is all under wraps. Am wondering how you can keep it all in. Then again, I did the identical thing. Except now, I published it all on the internet. But I know that one day you will tell. Then it will all come tumbling out As if it is a gigantic toxic spill. That is when your friendship will end. But mark the beginning of us.

Why I Believe!

The one I came from, I know better. Literally sat with him. Ours spirits have done everything. All that couples do together. That kind of friendship Is not easily severed. I do not know if he is still angry, Playing, or avoiding me. Whatever it is, it bothers me. I was the first and should Never have been secondary. That is the reason I am upset with him. Because he left me alone to struggle. It is written that it is he that comforts me. That is the reason that I conclude, it was he. Apart of me wants it to be because he is my husband. No one else has ever given me the kind of comfort he has.

Promises!

I am going to close the gap. From now on I’ll call you Friend or whatever you prefer. No more will I battle with you. I promise to be there for you. Hold on, beautiful one. Your King will come for you. For the Prince you selected Doubts but I the Lord knows. Understand your difficulty And how challenging it can all be. I know that I left you to live on your own But that was in order that you may see None can compare, take away your fear. Make your joy complete or satisfies. For you to be sure and never doubt again, that I Always loved and will one day be there for you.

Fun Friend!

My fun friend up lifts my spirit. Makes my day lighthearted Even if the heavens were falling His playfulness relaxes me. And lessen whatever is taxing me. So, please do not be angry. I need the communication Because it does make a difference. And the only thing that could Improve on this is a life partnership. Where his playfulness never changes.

Frustrating!

I know you may have doubts. May not understand the reasons I have been crying out. Believe that I am strong enough But, I fear that it is a lack of trust. I am hardly holding on I have been trying but unsure of how I will handle this never ending struggle. Is it my character or my person? Or is it simply your lack of interest? I imagine that you would have supported Encouraged, bade me to go on. It never occurred to me that I would Have been totally forsaken. Although, it is clear that I am on my own.

Worth The Wait!

If I had a day off I would spend it with you. If I had to lie down. It would be next to you. If I had to stand. It would be beside you. If I had to choose a partner Now, that would also be you. In the past frustration got the best of me. Exhaustion forced a decision on me. Then anger over all these things Caused me to re-evaluate my actions. Look towards you once again. I hope the lesson learned is to never let go of you. Or give in regardless of difficulty but hold on and wait. For the perfectly right person is always worth it.

Uncomplicate It!

Whatever is keeping you from me? Just keep working at it until You are through. Just do not hide behind it. Or let it keep you down. One day things will turn around. Complicated as it maybe, Uncomplicate, so that you can be free. Uncomplicate it, for there is not anything I would rather do, Uncomplicate it. I want to spend my life with you. Uncomplicate it, for it is true. I want to be with you. I had questions and you answered them. Been through this, over and over In my head, and am convinced That you were what I wanted.

Not my Intentions!

This may come as a surprise to you Hope you sincerely believe this too. I earnestly wanted to marry you. As complicated as things were. Not as the second, but the first, I am uncertain How the idea came to be but, I was aware of it. Then in the same way it came. You slipped away, and I forgot. Thoughts of you faded until the day, To my surprise, there you were again. That’s the way it was for me. As confusing as this was, not my intentions.

Kindness!

Kindness is not always The giving of material things. It sometimes is the ability To discard one’s own interest And be guided by your heart. Giving up a personal aspiration Compromising, being available Simply that it may benefit another. Kindness is certainly the core of love. Because of the passion that is present in love. It is direct and certainly is not round about. Unless it is deceit and not quite honestly love.

You Got Me!

You are the answer. The remedy for a busy me. The holder of my heart. Lady, you got me! I spent many days, wondering, longing To have a girl like you. Lady, you got me. For I am so in love with you. No more, will it be the single me, For your passion and love Lady, have sure captured me. Never thought I’d see the day. When all I would want is to see you. At the beginning, and ending of my day. Lady, I am so taken in by you.

Rap Song!

I never knew your name. Never knew, it was you. Even as, I sat beside you. Still, I did not know I was living in your shadow. I feel so foolish and ashamed. Why did I not know your name? Know that you were here with me That you'd come in search of me. Please accept my apology! I know this was not what you wanted. If I could, I would change things for you. So that, I could be worthy of your love too. Pretty Angel, I was wondering. If you would Choose to wear my wedding ring. If you would make an honest person Out of me, and be with me for all eternity.

Sun Set!

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To see the last sun set, No longer see the moon, That shine along with it. Refresh myself with the water, That flows throughout the earth Or sometimes reflect on it. As its light can be seen shining on it. Is all I desire from the day. Except the stars would fall. Refuses to shine, be awaken. Not that anyone is cognizant of this. But later will be aware of it. For if the last sunset were today. Then, they would care, because that would Bring destruction to all of them? And only then would they realized That something tragic must have happened.

Still Here!

Where are you now? Are you still listening to me? Or have you given up on me? I am not happy without you. I’ve done a lot of explaining. Yet, I believe you do not have a clue. The reason I kept reaching out to you. All I needed was the peace that was you. All I ever wanted was to be loved and held by you. Now that, we are separated, I do not know what to do. All I ever wanted, all I ever needed was the safety. Not the other things that resulted from being separated. I am not living, but sorrowing and doubting your love.

Can do that for me!

It is now going to be difficult. To love and choose you again. For this time, I will choose myself. Cannot let you hurt me again. My lost is yours, for as long As I carry my many scars. No one can heal my broken heart, But me, if I am alone, on my own. Thought you loved me. But now I know, you don’t So I am better off alone. You were the one, I felt sure. Only to find it was not me, You valued but several others. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot wait for you. I need to heal emotionally. And only I can do that for me.

Circle!

I have never felt more alone and unsupported as I do today. There is no point in asking for help, I long got the message, but kept trying. Now I have accepted and am truly aware that my situation is persistently the same and will never change. So I did all that I could do and wrote another poem and more than lightly will push all away, in the end. After trying to get information from one of my daughter about another, she was obnoxious and extremely disrespectful to me. It seriously upsets me. With that, I asked my husband to talk with her about how she responds to me. He looked at me and point blankly asked, “why do you always involve me in these things’. Well, I did because I thought that was his responsibility as a husband and father. Quite frankly, I brought that upon myself because I have never known him ever to stand by me. I honestly feel that I adopted my children at an age where they were full capable of learning to respect and love me as their mother. I have been marri

Missing Home!

It’s been a long time. I miss my home. All those, I love. That is similar to me. Those to whom I belong. That loves me unconditionally. I miss my son, the chosen one. I long to see and hold him again. I am in need of the familiar. To feel assured and protected, I desire To see the handsome face of our father. Alas, there is nothing I can do, but anxiously wait. I have been patient and now I am losing faith. And all I can do is express my longings.

Texas, Hill Country!

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A beautiful view! If you can see that the path I selected led me away Then eventually back to you. I hope that can give you some satisfaction. I do know that all that you voiced. Was all true, that you were honest. So, thank you for choosing to be forth right. Here is a beautiful view Nestled in your corner of the world. As harsh as you might have found it. There is always beauty, if you search for it. If not, then look for it on the inside of you. I wrote this poem yesterday while video taping this scenery in Texas Hill Country. Right now, writing poetry and travelling is all I can do to quiet my spirit.

Behavioral Pattern!

The joy that comes from winning Not the frustration from losing That I know so well, is my desire, To experience, that finally satisfaction, That comes from achieving what many but few have. Momentarily is not an actuality for me. My hope lies in a future that is not currently mine And my discouragement is from one that is. I cannot consistently hold unto my anticipation. To date, all has disappointed me and I am yet to win. The very last thing I want is to hold unto false hope. If one pattern is to never be there or demonstrate care for me. That is the truth that I believe, hence my current emotions, All my opinion and conclusions comes directly from my experience. Based on this I judge and will judge all including my Father.

Will not Ask Again!

I kept asking, for I sincerely wanted to know. Why you chose to bless him, and punish me so? From now on I will not ask any more. You are enabler of him, and discourager of my soul. You have abandoned me for a life time and loved him more. And for that reason, I kept asking and needed to know. Obviously, that will never change; now of you, I am ashamed. For as you disgraced me, and turned your back to me. I have no reason to ever acknowledge that it was you who sent me. Then persistently took from me starting with obscuring my name. Consistently gave to him, and chased me away. Caused all these idiots to all do the same, disgrace me, Ruin my reputation and hate me, equally the same. Until, there is no benefit in saying it, again and again. It is not as if you will change, and love me, just as he. At the very least I understand why you choose them. Why no one sincerely loved me, knew me, defended me? When I asked the one you chose to help me, did he? Has he not also be

Turn Away!

Knowing I was here, You chose to walk away. You looked on just like, they did you. As if I were not ever relevant to you. Never sat next to you, or were apart of you. Did I not respect, showed you that I loved you, Yet, you responded, as though, you never knew. Turn away, turn away was what you chose to do. Turn away as if I never belong to you. Now turn away, turn away is all I want to do. For tomorrow, I could never turn towards you. I was the one you were ashamed of. Turned away from as if I were trash. Now, I am conflicted, do not know what I should do. Perhaps, this is when I get to choose, to say to you, I wish, I never met or ever knew you, turn away Turn and look the other way, for all I want Is to not remember, that you chose to turn away from me. Who can I choose, for he also turned away from me? I think, he is exactly the same as you. He watched on too. Without intervening, so now, I do not know What I should do, other than turning away too. That is

My Summation!

Have I not always been obedient? Have I not done what you wanted of me? Is this the way you reward your servant? Should I even call myself that? For I was never treated as if I were. But, as though, I were cast down, not wanted. Is that the reason you and he turned against me? The reason you made me less than he, With held all that is good and continuously humiliate me? In your word you said you would not have done that, But in my case, you have not kept any of your promises. You both turned against me, as though, you are my enemy. Then instead of rewarding, you promised me to him. To subject me to more humiliation and to him give all that is good. While allowing these to destroy my work, as you did me. Is that it, the reason, I was sent here, stripped, And all that was mine was given to someone else? Why in the end instead of payment, I will be insulted? What would be the point of judging him in heaven? His offenses took place on earth, this is where recompense Sho

Speak!

Speak, as only you can. Speak, for I am listening. Speak, for only you can deliver as no other. Speak, for I do not want to stay hidden in the shadows. For if it were not for words of compassion, my lonely spirit Would forever always have stayed still, buried inside. Held captive to the impossibility of unveiling my true identity. Speak, for silence can sometimes send the wrong message. But words such as, I love you is always up lifting. Much better than avoidance and feeling obligated to say, I am sorry. For passion expressed is more joyous than regret. And covering up one's bona fide position or one actually self, Can earnestly be far more difficulty than revealing the truth.

Love Supports!

Love would have assured and provide safety. Protected, removed me from uncertainty. Equipped me, so that I could live and not Have to make choices simply to survive. Would have fought for me as opposed To disheartening, being the cause of my sorrow. Would not merely wait until it benefitted him. Would not have placed importance on whether, I was white, yellow or brown, what I became or am. Would have pursued, desired more than any other. And I, more than anyone would have known it, been sure of it. Instead of feeling unloved, and used, seeing that he provided for him. Doing only for his own benefit, but never mine. Choosing others consistently, and discarding me. Hiding this, so others are not aware of how selfish serving he is. But presenting himself as a good being and not the narcissist he truly is.

Thinking about you!

You and me, an example of the way love should be. For even when separated I wanted to be with none other than you. I kept thinking about you all the time. Though I could not be next to you. And there was not anything I could do I kept thinking about you all this time. When I was confused and alone. As I sat at home, I kept thinking for you all the time. For thinking about you, help to see me through. When I could not resolve the problems, I had. Thinking about you ease my burden, a lot. Although you and me, typically are as different As anyone can be, but that did not matter. For when my eyes rested on you. I had the peace I needed. So now I think about you all the time. Eventually I want the world to see. You are all I live and breathe. The inspiration that enabled me. The passion that kept burning. Caused me to think about you all the time.

No Need to Continue!

Another day has faded. Still, its events linger on. Was there any truth in it? Were all intentions wrapped in deceit? Why pretend to care, appear honest? Who were they lying to? Unsure, my smile faded. Those actions were nothing more than a mockery Of what I appeared to be, wholesome and sincere! A poor girl with integrity. Yet, by your actions You condemn me. Do I not hold the key to survival For the exact ones, you love and care about? By my sheer presence in the world not kept safe. Yet, for as long as I remain here you would inflict me. I earnestly have utterly no reason to continue here. Especially after the way you disgraced me. By dumping me for an undetermined time, then placing me secondary. For as long as there is no benefit in having me along side you. With that, my desire is to leave,  and not to do anything else for anyone.

Traffic Light!

I wave my emotions as though, It is what drives me to react Or move on or simply hold back. As the colors of a traffic light. Except red does not mean stop. It is the color of the blood that I’ve got. Green does not mean go. It is an indicator that I do not know. Yellow means that I failed to act, Because it is not as relevant as all that. Red is the color, that from the start, Surges through my veins and heart. Yellow, causes me to think that ignorance Is never an excuse for not doing the right thing. Green: Is not an indicator to race ahead But a sign that new life is springing up instead. Go; go, go to where I do not know. Go, go, go is that all I need to directing me. Go, go, go does it matter, who is ahead or behind me. From now on I will see red, yellow and green differently. Because those colors has significance to me. More than the changing colors of a traffic light. They mean that I am here and were given life.

What I Expect!

I do not expect them to reward me Even if I obey, but eternally hurt me. After all, they inflicted me for all my life. Even their words in prophecy Devalued and humiliated me. Why would my reality be different. It is not as if they have ever done Anything wholesome and kind for me, so I ran. So they blame me and called me names. Used humans to do the same but praise his name. Why should I believe anything other than what I do? It is not as if I have seen improvement, or love. I say men are ruthless, but what does that say about us.

Difficult!

It saddens me to listen as individuals glow. Chatter because they simply do not know. I have to be silent, in knowing you, their example. Abandoned your wife for most of her human life. Provided only for you. Did not even give her a family. But individuals that did the same as you. Left her to struggle on her own. Did not recognize her. Over and over those were the kind of people you chose. Why do I have to consistently subject myself to those? Keep remembering, how alone I was in my most difficult hour. I had no family, but one friend with me. Yet, you are here, And scripture claims, you will no longer do that to me. Another insult, for until, I appear as a woman of earthly value. Only then will you stand next to me and claim me as your wife. That is not genuine love, simply a demonstration of self centeredness.

My Declaration!

I am not aware of what He Will or will not do. All I know is that, I have lost all interest. In reuniting with Him. If there were love, care, Concern or even consideration. As from one person to another, I would not have felt this way. But when it comes to me, He displayed disdain, as though, He never knew, or valued me. I am writing it here, if I forget. The hurt he caused, will be remembered. For I regret ever crossing path with him, Wasted my life searching, and seeking after him. To learn he neglected me for someone else. And proudly stand, being pleased, about his actions, His choice and out rightly refuted our connection. Without the slightest remorse of what happened here.

She Alone Knows!

Oh, Jerusalem! You alone know The reason you sorrow so. Your babbling are misunderstood. Your pleas goes unheard. Your tears fall wasted on harden hearts. Jerusalem, Jerusalem! Where is your son? The one that esteems you? Where is your protector? The great warrior, where is he? Why does he not defend you? Where is your Father’s love? Your husband’s compassion, Has long forsaken you. No longer belongs to you. His heart has long replaced you. What can we do, but pray for you? Jerusalem. Jerusalem, It is not for the ideal, you exist. But for the sake of your people. To preserve a place for them. Even though, they may not know. I will return for you as promised.

Expression Of Love!

I lack the words, the expressibility. To articulate the affection I have for you. But my mind, my imagination does not. As I wonder, they can take hold of you. Dance, be with, hug, and adore you. Yet, while I am only dreaming. I am also awaiting that blessed day. When the things I foresaw become real. My anticipation is enabling each day Bring me closer and closer to my dream. When the sweet fragrance that is unique to you; I become familiar with, I wish to be saturated with. For then you would no longer be just an acquaintance, But what you were chosen to be from the beginning.

Routine Day!

Today, I am doing all the tediously necessary chores a wife and mother does, cooking cleaning and getting ready to entertain. Tomorrow promises to be a more laid back day, than usual. I am predicting that there will be a lot of colorful lights in the sky. Not that any of it will be our doing.

Should not have waited!

You are the instrument that awakens my trodden spirit. The encouragement that enables me to face challenging days. The wind that drives me on to accomplish extraordinary things. You enabled me to be, all that I wanted to become. Wish my visions could have clearly seen these things. That my ambition was to gain infinite knowledge of all this. That I had fully understood and recognized value. Significance, then I would have saturated myself when I could. Not that it is ever too late to learn or make adjustments. I simply wish I utilized the opportunity, when it first presented itself, Instead of waiting until now, when you have become discouraged.

Spectacular Gift!

The most spectacular gift the Father gave Was the promise of a beloved mate. Not of a son or daughter that maybe, But of one who will truly love me, Will be kind, considerate, Assist me with my aspirations, Comfort and keep me. Smiles, Even though my spirit was revealed. Gets frustrated, yet does not criticize Or lash out at me, but willfully ignores. Though at times, is disappointed. Understands and openly accepts who I am. That's extremely relevant and will only add To what I already am and my contentment.

I Fell Asleep!

I fell asleep as if without care. I fell asleep although you were there. I fell asleep because I was relaxed. I fell asleep because rest I lacked. I fell asleep, of hours I lost track. I fell asleep, as the world was under attack. I fell asleep, because it was time to go. I fell asleep, but these things I wanted you to know. I fell asleep, but first I had to show you that I loved you. I fell asleep knowing that you loved me too. I fell asleep when I was finally at peace with you. I fell asleep knowing one day, I’d come back for you.

I Promise!

I promise to meet you. Love you for you, Just as you are, right where you are. I Promise to run, only in your direction. Place my arms around you. Love you for who you are. I'll be there, I promise you, my dear. My every thought of you. History I shared with you. As I got to know you, I knew; you were the one for me. No longer will I run. Except in your direction. I will hold on and I will go. No matter how far, I'll be there. In loving you, life will be alright. Wherever you are, I will build my life. I promise you, I will run in your direction.

Deceived!

I buried my hopes in a love I believed in. I reached out in agony hoping he loved me. My person, my situation complicated things. Made it impossible to take a hold of my dreams. Yet, I believed that he would have joined me. Not be consumed in achieving or giving to earthly charities. But, would rather acquire the promises that came with me. How could my heart, my love, disappoint me again? My dignity, my pride, wants nothing but respect. His choices, actions and refusal did not give that to me. With that I decided to do only for me and to forget him.